Australian Dream.

Lost between two continents.

Oh, what's happening with you two boys !
Jesse stopped calling me sweet names after apologizing for his sexual chat I told him I was scared of. I must admit it is on better grounds like this, much sounder, but I secretely enjoyed them even ashamed of my compliance. Marty, you would never dare speak this way to me because you are a more respectful one. You would rather play love songs to me to let me know how you feel.
But these days I feel like you are both flying away from me. I could not help telling Marty how I do miss our little chats together hopiong you enjoyed these delightful moments long gone by now.
Of course, I added I won't get any answer from you at present, things being as they are now.
The question that I need most to get the answer to is the following: did I mean much to you these days and am I still meaning much to you, much more than a regular listener ?
I fear I will never get it and I feel lousy.
Is the only way to get on a plane and rush to you in the Alice ?
I hate you for not letting me know !
Jesse said the next time he would have a day off he would let me know for me not worrying.
Yesterday I got no e-mail from him and he was not going to the site of Answers and Questions.
It might mean he was not at work.
But this one just answer me politely not telling me more about his everyday life in LA.
he did me the honor though to let me know about his past, his "pitiful past" as he called it.
Funny, Marty, you played "Hotel California" tonight after closing time.
You did not seem happy to have me on the phone ealier. I had got a letter from the French post-office saying they would track the parcel and I wanted to know if you had got it.
You had not and joked nobody knows where you live save at Bo's. You said again I should send further things to Bo's, but added I had not to send you anything more.
I replied I just wanted to please you and you said I should just ask you for music requests as other people do and that you will be pleased that way.
Did you mean you don't want me to have that special relationship with you as I carry on with.
Just a regular listener asking for music requests. If so I have got the answer to my question.
Anyway, I can't still resolve to that. You can't have wiped off so many close moments of friendship and I dare say love.
You keep on playing meaningful songs for me and no other: "Chasing Cars" these days.
I thought you were,may be, jealous again, for when I thought you were spending the week-end with Clare ( having shaved clean cut) I told you about Jesse in California.
It had happened many a time before you being kind of nasty because you were jealous.
I am stupid at times to let you know about other boys, just because I feel jealousy gnawing me inside.
I thought afterwards that you had that day off in order to watch the final at the Open in Melbourne. In fact, you didn't, working elsewhere. Well, you just shaved may be because it was a special party last Friday for Australia Day... It is so hard to know from here !
Jesse must be at work by now and I will get his first e-mail. May be...
I am still surfing on the web from one continent to the otherhoping not getting drown in the middle !!!