Australian Dream.

The Bermuda Triangle.

Is it true this triangle is so dangerous many people got lost into it ?
Pierre, Marty and now Jesse, they all make a perfect triangle. France, Australia and the States.
And I am stuck in the middle !
Jesse said: "but, Maria, I do", on my asking if he could love me by any chance.
But what did he mean ? You can love someone so many ways after all.
He has stopped talking sex to me, just answering my question yesterday and being fantastic, saying he would always respect he woman he makes love with not withstanding the positions.
He just got me on my knees telling that.
He speaks so sweetly to me, but it is hard to believe someone who has just known me on the web for nearly a month could be in love.
I tell him all about my life and my sorrows and his having had quite a disrupted life himself, I guess he is more apt than anyone to grasp fully what I feel deep inside me. But is it enough to say it is love. May be, just the kind of love you can feel towards someone close to you as a very good friend. He added, though, that the other twos' attitude was all our gain.
I am worried though for he doesn't give me his private email address, even if he said he wished he could have a picture of mine. I can email one without this address.
I gave him my full details acting recklessly, may be, hoping he would follow the path and send his in return, but he replied he had a terrible headache. That changed the subject at once, for I rushed taking care of his health. He said he was fine afterwards, but hurried to wish me a good night without speaking of the pictures anymore.
He seems to make a step or two forward, then recoil from it as realizing he has gone to far.
Am I going to stay a loved one on the web only and never enter his private life ?
He said though his kids are well aware of me and of all the nice places I visited. At least that means he talks about me to them.
Marty, you are the same as ever. I talk to you on my mind but less and less. It is hard to carry on with conversations as we don't share anything at present. I am doing a long tiring monologue to you. You pick up a few things that makes you react from time to time. You play my favorite songs to let me know you are aware I am in your company on the web, and then you can ignore me making fun with the foreign girls at Bo's or dedicating songs to that Jojo again as you did last night. It makes me jealous at times, but this feeling is wiped off soon as I start chatting with Jesse.
In fact, it is as if you have taken it for granted that I woud always be in your company and that we would carry on with this little game forever. No need emailing me while off work. No need reading my mails at home.I have been expecting for months you would drop me a line from time to time to let me know about your life in the Alice or answer my numerous questions. No use !I have to play the perfect regular listener even if it doesn't satisfy me at all.
Pierre is the same. He did not give the cuddle I needed this morning. Why should he bother, I am here all the same. I hated him for it and called him a vegetable without feelings. He did not mind much and gave me the usual kiss on my cheek on leaving all the way to his office.
I did an hour and a half of fitness to vent out my frustration.
Both you Marty and Pierre are frustrating me. May be your way to keep me in your power. But as I said to Jesse it is much better to hear someone to avow his love than to be kept in the waiting in vain.
Marty, you are so much like Pierre. You enjoy your own pleasure without making a single effort to fulfill my desires. You don't want to be bothered by endless questions and take life as it comes, not withstanding what I feel. You just take every moment as it comes. Your worries are the money you could make to improve your living, eating, sleeping, jump on any sports event you can come across. What a good life of yours !
The weather is cloudy today reflecting my mood. Is the sky always blue in the Bermuda Triangle ?