Australian Dream.

Confusion.

Mary, but what are you doing ?
I let Jesse siren songs into my mind and it has become so strong a spell I can't get away from them.
I am your love, the one for you and in your mind we will be together. You speak of the past not destroying our future. All you say is true you insist.
My broken heart wants to believe you, but you seem to be such a dreamer !
For the first time I do feel like cheating on my husband and I am so ashamed of it. Laure disapproves of it too and calls me childish. She says she has to build up her own personality in parallel with my life and that things are not easy for her with an immature woman acting like a 15 year old girl.
Nothing the like with you, Marty !
You would never speak of love or let me know clearly you loved me.
Anyway I had to take it for granted you did. As I have to take for granted Pierre does.
What the use telling me ?
You both are here, two sensible men not too prone on romance.
One is earning a living for me. The other is calling my name and plays love songs full of meaning I am supposed to understand. Lately Marty chose "I want You" instead of "From Paris to Berlin" insisting twice last time on "I want you".
But you won't say much more about your life and I am supposed to acknowledge your love for Clare.
Nobody believes you have let me down for that other girl. Pierre shrugs his shoulders and smiles as if he finds me stupid to think it is true.
Jesse, too, says I am so much prettier than that girl and that I don't have to worry.
I must say you still act funny.
As the weather was so fine I said to myself "stop wasting your time with someone who has a new girlfriend" and I went twice sunbathing on the balcony instead.
I knew Saturday night would be a late party Bo's fully packed. So I stayed on the balcony relaxing and enjoying the sun on my body.
You spent over an hour before taking my first request, but afterwards you played so many of them, the songs with the most meaning.
Last Sunday, a very quiet night with almost nobody at the bar.
I connected an hour before you left telling you about the sunshine on the balcony. I sounded happy and I had reason for it remembering Jesse's last words for the week-end.
Wow, you ignored me !
I couldn't believe it when you said strangely you had no requests coming from the web !!!
Joking, kidding, or simply resenting the fact I had not been with you since the opening of the broadcast.
You had already done that especially during summer days when I left you to go down on the beach.
How can you be so possessive towards me especially having a new girlfriend ?
On Monday the weather turned grey and cold and I went to Bo's on the web ealier.
Mary, Mary,Mary... You joked playing "Love Generation" saying as I couldn't watch the tennis match, Pierre refusing to pay for it, you will play that one for me and that it wouldn't cost me a cent.
But I am still waiting for you to thank me for your Xmas present or to send me an e-mail answering my numerous questions.
Jesse is speaking less of sex by now.
He says we are mentally close and that the physical is just a plus.
He says we will be together as if he knew it all.
I am the perfect one and he doesn't want the past to destroy our future.
I told you, Jesse, of all the hurdles ahead: my age, my being married, my being so far from LA
It is as if they don't exist in your mind.
You love me and I am yours despite the circumstances.
We only met two weeks ago and it seems so unreal to me.
Should I put more sense into my head ?
How can a man say that to someone he doesn't know?
I still don't know much about you, Jesse.
You don't reply when I ask you about your life down in LA.
You don't give me your full name, nor your address, even your private email address.
I told you I can't send you pictures otherwise.
I ask for a picture of you but you didn't reply.
Sometimes I am wondering if you just like to talk to a woman leading her slowly into having sexual chats to arouse you sexually.
Confused I am, for sure.
I know my lady friends cannot understand me chatting with another man on the web. It scares them and they are no computer users either.
Gosh, God help me !
The roses have faded alright.
I have had to resolve putting them into the dustbin.
I did it last Sunday.