Australian Dream.

Back to Alice Springs.

Scruffy beard, longer hair, so you're back to me in full !
You did someting last night at Bo's you had not done or months: on leaving you turned your back and stared for a rew seconds at the camera as if saying good-bye to me as you did long ago.
I remember the days we were still chatting and on leaving you would the same and even did as if you wanted to catch my hand to wish me good-bye. I loved it so much, we were so close during that time...
Of course, you mentioned me more than once and played so many love songs just for me and I felt great. I regretted so much having met Jesse and wanted to be all yours again.
Thinking of the Alice and viewing the place in my mind made me nearly cry: the Bojangles, the Todd Mall, Undoolya Road, the lane to the Telegraph Sation with the kangaroos following us,...
How I miss all that !
As I told Jesse I can fancy you in your life there for I have already been twice in Alice Springs. easy for me to imagine you on your way back home each time you leave the Bojangles.
I can do the same with the latter. I don't know LA, have got no idea what he looks like and despite my asking he doesn't seem willing me to know. He is always focused on sexual matters scaring me each time.
Though on a Monday morning for him, I expected him sending a first email on resuming work.
He should have read my mails sent during the week-end.
Nothing at the usual hour.
I waited anxiously for two hours before deciding to send one.
I even checked if he was not visiting the site of Answers and Questions as he usually do after we part. But no, not this time as on last Friday.
Then I discovered I had no access available to my mail box. I tried and tried again in vain till 11pm.
I was worried for I thought Jesse had sent me emails of his own and was wondering why I was not replying.
When I finally found out I had 16 mails in waiting to be read, I started checking them all to discover there was none from him.
At first I thought he may have had a day off, just as on Monday last week.
I sent one email to him explaining the problem and saying I was sorry.
He replied at once saying he was apologizing for what he said on the previous Friday scaring me again.
I replied trying to be casual and that I understood his loneliness for giving him.
He replied willing to know if I had got his apologies.
I repeated what I had said before, that I am not used to these kind of talks but understood his sufferings being without a woman for years. I told him I wanted to get to know more about his own life to get to know him better.
He then asked me if I wanted to have more or these talks, or else to tell him for there would never be any. I didn't answer straight to his question just asking if it was the only thing he was interested in as far as I was concerned. I told him it was late and that my husband being in bed already I wouldn't be able to wait for too long for his answer.
I waited in vain arising my husband's suspicion anew.
I then decided to go to bed and sleep.
This morning I got a mail from Jesse. No "love" or "dearest", just Mary.
He says he was very busy yesterday and didn't have to reply quickly, adding that strange sentence "things are dying down now".
He wishes my leg has healed allowing me to win in today competition as I had told him I had tested it and wouldn't be able to play today. Full stop.
I checked: he resumed answering questions linked to sex, especially that one concerning "tea-bagging" (quite hot stuff)
If I understand things right, he was leading me into that kind of chats and, seeing it doesn't work, wants to put an end to the relationship.
I forgot I asked him if he had not had such a relationship previously with another lady on the web. It may have crossed him.
Or he is sincere and is crossed at my not trusting him.
I will have to wait till 6pm to get the clue.
Dan at Bo's today. I will connect myself to the site, back to Alice Springs again !