Australian Dream.

Suspicious Minds.

Oh, how confused I can be today.
Marty was as before earlier. He played "Chasing Cars" for me though I had not requested it. The words are so full of meaning. He called me Poor Mary on acknowledging the defeat ot the French tennis players in Melbourne. He played more of my favorite, even " Nothing Else Matters" saying it was one of his favorite too.
Well, I loved his scruffy beard and his hair a bit longer.
I told him he was in a loving mood. "In Love Again" seemed to suit the latter also. And he stayed at Bo's playing other more love songs.
As usual he waited for my last mail wishing him a good night before switching off his computer.
I love him so much when he acts this way !
Why have you kidded me with the story of this new girlfriend ?
I guess I was the only one to believe in it, but you behaved so nasty during these days !
If you had carried on e-mailing me in one way or the other, if you had not told me about Clare as she was living so far away from you, I would never had found out Jesse.
Pierre was suspicious about Jesse during lunch. He told me that that man should have fantasms about me living without a woman for so long. I refrained from blushing.
We spoke of travels and if he seemed willing to go back to Australia he started a row when I spoke of LA.He agrees to go back to Australia but in the frame of the association of Sister Cities.
That trip should happen in March 2007 if it ever does and I don't want to wait for so long.
I fear Marty might have left Bo's by then, and I am not he would carry on with this relationshoip of ours if so.
He could still find out a new girlfriend for good this time !
I did something I should have done before.
I checked into Jesse's first two questions on his joining the site .
He says he is a happily married man and speaks of his sexual appetite which his wife can't stand anymore. He says he eveb had to go and see a doctor for it.
In his second question he says he is married but attracted to another woman.
That had surprised me before, but I put it aside trusting his new story, his being on his own for ower 7 years and raising his kids alone.
Amazing he wrote to me in capital letters he has not had a single girlfriend since. Strange for someone so keen on sex.
His answers on this site are mainly about sex, but full of sense.
I am the one who should put more sense into my head.
I rushed head first into that new relationship on Marty telling me about a new girlfriend of his.
That's true he behaved nasty at that time, as a man cheating on his mate and angry at his doing it.
But I noticed it did not last for long and that by Xmas he was as nice as ever.
I couldn't believe it at first he was playing my requests on the radio while entertaining the party at Bo's which was not broadcasted on that special day.
I know now he did and Clare was not with him on these last days of December.
He was on his own as I thought the contrary.
Jealousy is a bad adviser.
My new friend, Milly in Sydney, versed in astrology advised yesterday to give Jesse the flick, quick.
She lay be right and can't help wondering if the latter is just interested in sexual chats while working.
He became a bit distant and stopped calling me "my love" when I ran away from these talks.
I won't give me his full name nor his private address.
I guess it is due the character of these relationships on the web.
You can't help being suspicious about the persons you deal with.
I have a great advantage with Marty, watching him thanks to the webcam and the chats we had together helped me understand him better. He is so much alike to Pierre !
But on bad days when he suddenly stops calling my name I can figure out all sorts of suspected things happening.
Pierre has never really been suspicious concerning Marty.
It is not the same with Jesse and I will have to be more careful avout what I do or say to him.
Oh, how I wish I never met Jesse !
I don't want to hurt him if all he says is true. He doesn't deserve it then.
I am fed up of living on a suspicious mind.