Australian Dream

One of the bad days I have got to be used to.

Well, as I said before, we could have the most beautiful moments together.
Thanks to our little chats I got the opportunity to know you better and better as days went past.You were born in Sydney, have a brother you cherish most and a daughter. Both you and your brother were born on the same day two years apart. You both left the world of computers to become DJs because of your love for music induced by your mother who taught you the piano. I had noticed the beautiful hands of yours, those of a pianist.
You told me your tastes in music as in literature.
I wanted to know as much about your world and of the Aussie way of life. Inquisitive you said I was. Oh,yes,how true.
You carried on sending me e-mails during the parties and mentioning more than once your Mary on the mike. I even found out how you let me know you had sent a message for me on playing one of my favorite songs. All seemed so easy.
Then some songs became as anthems to the both of us, mostly love songs, telling how far apart we were and how one could be on one's mind or could miss one: a whole range of songs.
You wouldn't go out till late and you stayed there for hours sending me more and more messages. Sometimes, a boy from the cleaning crew would come and let you know it was time to go.
Sometimes, they switched off your computer and you would rush and switched on again. You never seemed in a hurry to go home.
But not easy to get to know about your private life.
You told me on the phone that you were to Sydney to meet your brother and also, your girlfriend, Johanna. I was surprised as you had previously told me you were single.
On my coming back home I phoned you to tell you I had wonderful with my husband as you had wished me in your nasty mail. I asked you if yours were as beautiful with your girlfriend. A grunt was a reply and I started to wonder if you had not told me about her to make me jealous.
Would not believe it though...
Having got your personal address I started sending you mails home and confiding my worries to you.
At first, you seemed reluctant to get such messages and I called myself silly. It did not last long, for soon, you seemed willing to know about them and ready to answer them with love and affection.
I was so happy to have found such a nice friend. I let myself go as far as you could provoke me in order to know more about me. I even opened my heart to you.
You wanted to know what happened to me in the past which hurt me so much. So I let you know without reserve.
I dreaded your reaction each time I opened my heart to you, but you were so nice!
When you played our songs you could shout you were getting nuts; you shouted your sudden love for France and French girls.
I requested Uptown Girl, you replied you were in love with an uptown girl.
You played that Love Generation over and over again. You acknowledge it once saying that even after having played it over and over again, you still love HER. Big lapsus of the tongue: and Steve, your brother, was by you at that time. That one was happy to say hello to Mary as soon as he took the mike at Bo's.
I was so much with you and slowly I realized I had fallen in love.
Doubts started to invade my brains, for I could help thinking I could not be sure of anything.
Especally when you could behave in a very queer way at times.
Yes, I also had rough hours in your company, when suddenly you would not take any of my requests and stopped answering my mails. The silly one kept begging you to reply: no use.
I e-mailed you home after the parties asking for an explanation and you would just say the next day that you had a very busy party to entertain, that it takes all the energy from you,that you were too focussed on your job. Rubbish ! I hat d it when you tried to apologize that way.
I, then, tried to analyze the situation and found out that each time I had said something that might have rendered you jealous, or feeling you were just a DJ, not worth for someone like me.
I reassured you telling you I loved you as you are and that you did not have to change at all.
The following day, you seemed in heaven, your mind drifting away as I told you mine was.
The worst came one day. We were talking of buddhism. I said I was a murder because I had picked up roses and may have killed them. Yes, I had got in the habit of picking up roses at my golf club to put into a vase next to your picture.
I requested a new song by Rihanna, Unfaithful. It is about a girl in love with another guy and who don't want to be a murderer anymore to her actual man. You took that song for granted and I realized how you could be watchful of the words of the song.
Of course, it helped you tell me what was on your mind and you could not tell otherwise.
The mails you send could be read by others as those I sent in reply. We had to be careful.
But ,strange, since the World Cup, you had stopped e-mailing from home.
You told me you did not want to mix your private life with your job. You had to protect yourself from the girls at Bo's and from the gossips of such a small town as Alice Springs.
As a Baptist, you have been brought up in a strict way and this sort of adultary put wondering thoughts to your mind.
But what about me and my life over here. Pierre has been having rough times since I met you on that web. Life is not easy over here. I have to catch up with it and you were of some help.
Things have changed completely since the Masters Games. You disappeared from Bo's for a fortnight and I was left into the unknown.
I had a big worry on my mind because you told me once you may go and work on the radio full time leaving Bo's for good. The idea frightened me and it came back to my mind. That was it!
I was enduring a big disappointment as well as it was your birthday during that period.
I wanted somuch to be with you on that special day of yours.
I thought that, may be, you were in Sydney with your brother.
Most of all the parcel I had sent to you haad been returned to me. It had been wrongly directed to the West Indies at first.
Of course, I begged you by mail to let me know where you were. No use.
It is Dan who was doing thejob at Bo's who answered my worries saying on his mike that you were working at the casino during the Masters Games.
What a big relief!
But the day you resumed your work at Bo's, nothing for me during long hours.
I asked you more than once if you had finally got the gift, I begged you to make a sign on leaving to let me know. But no....
I got a mail the following morning: you had two very busy working weeks, and you found my behavior childish.Most of all, you were not allowed to send mails while at work.
Once more I had to tell you how much you mean to me, and that I wanted to know if you had that gift, otherwise I would have to put a reclamation to the post-office.
The next day, you were shouting my name every ten minutes, playing three songs in a row for me. In the end, on closing time ,you said you were playing this song for me: Addicted by Simple Plan.You were listening to it on your own. The crowd had left.
At he end of the song I was crying. It was so much like a declaration of love.
I checked the lyrics on the web the next morning to be sure of what I had heard.
I could help telling you how this song moved me.
I phoned you to know about the gift. You had not got it: Mary, it is the thought that counts.
Well, I was in heaven. Not for long.
Since then you have stopped taking my requests nor shout my name.
You program rocks and rocks I hate for the next hour following the closing of Bo's.
No use to know what's happening. You even played MY song From Paris To Berlin for a sexy Foxie who had all your attention during the party.
It ruined me.
Yesterday though, you said Good Night ,Mary and played a song I had requested, followed by three of my favorite, and it was love songs mostly during that last hour.
But today, today! Back to ignoring me and to rock songs that hurt my ears and heart.
Well, one of these bad days of mine. Where is the love?