Australian Dream.

Cheated ?.

What a bad day again after so many in a row !
I have not heard from Jesse for nearly a week.
In fact, all went wrong after I had told him about what I read in his Q&A, his being lappily married and his wife and kids being all that counts in the world. Well, I spent hours checking out into his questions and answers, and he never mentioned that again. He said he was on his own on Valentine's Day as he told he was. He spoke of being heartbroken. He comforted me saying he would have a girlfriend of his mother's age, a plump one with breasts and a big behind. Most of all, the personality of the girl prevails over the physical in his opinion. He also spoke much of respecting the woman in a relationship. he said all that previous to meeting me on the web.
I realized I could be the perfect one for him and I started believing all he said to me.
But the day following my saying what Ijhad found out in Q&A, he did not welcome me as usual on resuming his work at the airport. I had to wait till late into the evening to get a first mail telling me he had to move into another department and did not access to his emails, the computers being filtered there. The first time he was speaking of his being moved into somewhere else in two months. In a second mail he said he was not married and said that to attract people's attention, and have them reply for him to gain more points.
I was relieved and decided to carry on with the relationship without asking myself anymore questions.
But during that week I only got mails too late at night to reply them. In fact each day it was just one to wish me a good night. The last I got on the Thursday morning,which means that for the rest of the day he did try to keep in touch.
I waited anxiously on the following Monday to get a first message from him and got none.
The following morning I broke down very deep, for on one hand he said he would be unable to email me being in a new department, and on the other hand I found out he was answering questions in Q&A, even saying to a redhaired girl he loved her.
Once again he had sent that one too late for me to get it before bedtime.
I waited later on in the evening of that Tuesday, as I had got nothing and he had got one point for visiting Q&A, I sent two questions of my own asking if aa life was worth being lived without love and another equivalent adding I was in despair finding love.
I got an instant email from him sounding angry that I could have written that as he had said so many times he loved me so much. He sounded till very angry in a second one and then he started sending mail upon mail telling me how much I meant to him.
I trusted him anew, though I was puzzled that he could email me all of a sudden after having told he would no longer be able to.
The following day, last Wednesday he resumed his loving messages. He said he would climb high mountains to be united to me, the sky being the limit. He wrote twice in capital letters he was ready,willing and able.
Was not it the lost beautiful thing a poor woman like me could listen to ?
The next day, after a few nice welcoming mails he said he had again to go to another department, not being sure he would have access to emails. It was last Thursday midafternoon here and since I have not heard from him.
He has never sent the picture of his he had promised me to send.
I can't help wonder that after my discovery of his pseudo marriage, he had to be in another department quite often. And he still visit Q&A on resuming work each morning.
I am thinking that it is a good way to escape from the relationship softly as I have emailed him less and less knowing he would not answer me if he ever read the messages I wrote.
I feel like having been cheated all along.
In a sense, Marty being rather nice these days, I am back as previously,still suffering he is not trying to get in touch and drop a line out of work. But, he sighed a "oh, Mary!" so explicit last Sunday and played so many songs in a row just for me. He talked to me saying I loved this boy, meaning the singer of Evermore I don't even know what he looks like. I though he was meaning himself the way he said it. Speaking of temperature he said something about hot and sweaty, still as if describing the way he was feeling at the moment.
Well, I may have been cheated on by Jesse, I still have my serious Marty.
If Jesse actually believed like this he is the worst bastard in the world, and, I, the stupiest of all girls !!!