Spoilt Relationships.

November 19th, 2007.

I have not been writing for long. Just because I was not in the mood.
I spent hours everyday chatting with the girl in Canada. She wanted to know more of Jesse, but , in fact, she was abusing me at imes for she knows more than me about this man. She is totally blined by love and doesn't want to follow my advice, though she keeps asking for them.
I had a break during summer for she went to Chili on holidays. On her coming back home she said she was no longer allowed by her boss to chat at work. It seemed I heard that excuse more than once from my friends. First, Marty. Then Jesse. Now Kathy.
The latter said she would use e-mails instead and didn't send any.
I was having wonderful moments, being wih my daughter for 5 weeks, going to the beach and having friends from Paris visiting us. So not hearing from Kathy was of no bother.
Before she left for Chili I answered one of her questions on Q&A Jesse saw. He blocked my access to his account following this. As he has another account and seemed to use it during these summer weeks, I could still find out what was on his mind at that time.
But he is not using it by now and Kathy made her Q&A private for weeks. Thus I couldn't check the veracity of their words. I got mad and decided it was time to move on from these two.
Unfortunately Kathy resumed her chatting every evening as I would have liked to watch TV and relax after a visit to the Bojangles on the web. But she seems to understand I am not in the mood of replying her much , and she is not bothering me as previous. She said she spent a week-end in LA with a friend to meet Jesse and that the relationship has grown stronger since.
Well, my mind went back to Australia and I have met two new ladies there, Erica and Marcya.
One is 36 and having a divorce from her 10 year younger husband. Worse she had breast cancer and the latter left her for another woman when she was having her second chemo. She is living in Bunbery, south of Perth. Now the cancer is into her liver and she is again on chemo. She has less time left for me and that I can understand.
Marcya lived in Nebo on the mining fields of Queensland. Her job over she is back home in Mareeba, near Cairns where her three sons live. She is 51 and separated from her mate on going back home. He too was ten years younger. Lol !
I made up my mind to stick to Australia again, but things turned so badly between Marty and I.
His Xmas present was returned to me in April and I sent it back. As I was getting no news from Marty and as he seemed ignoring me as in the worst days of our relationship, I decided to phone him and ask about the present. The first time he said he was busy and couldn't talk. The webcam was not on and on having it roll I could see Marty was with a new DJ, expalining him the job.
I had fears this one should take his place. In fact he did the job for two days. But, no, he is working on the radio by now.
I decided t wait for a few days before calling again.
Marty did as if he was not hearing me, and I saw him put down the phone set on the console, leaving me shouting hello in no use. I saw him talk with a man and thought the latter ghad disturbed him.
I tried again later on and, this time, on hearing me say "Mary's calling", he just hung up !!!
What a shock ! It was in June.
I spent a few days in Paris and was waiting for Laure's visit. I tried to forget about all this and for a while just went to Bo's on the web when Dan was there. I refrained from sending anything to Marty when he was at Bo's for a few weeks, but he seemed to try and pay attention to me through songs, I resumed as previous. Dan got his birthday gift late in June and thanked me. He is always nice to me that one !!!
Marty seemed to be with me playing my favorite songs as he was getting my requests. But one day he was with a girl, hugging and kissing in front of the camera. He had never done that before and I got a real shock ! Previous he had mentioned a girlfriend named Stacy. It seemed he was no longer with Clare.
I answered him I found his behaviour silly if that was the reason why he was ignoring me and acted so rudely towards me. He kept doing it for a while and, then again, came back as before with the songs.
His trick at that time was to play Bob Sinclar as he knew of me being tuned, followed by Paris Avenue. It was like a code. As I was busy with friends and enjoying summertime and the beach, I was less at the computer. I remembered how last year Marty didn't appreciate my going to the beach instead of being with him till his leaving Bo's. But things had changed so much by then !
I thought of myself silly carrying on sending requests and telling him about my everyday life.
He had not sent me an e-mail till the last one early Nov.2006. He had stopped speaking to me on his mike nor called my name since April ... I feared the upcoming wintertime knowing I would have to spend so many hours listening to Bo's.
In September, just as in 2006, his brother arrived in Alice Springs. I was happy to welcome him, but instead he ignored me. Lol ! When I think how last year he wanted to say hello to me on arriving. He did the job for Marty for a few days and I feraed he would take the place of that one at the console. I talked to him sending e-mails, hoping he would reply, but no. That too hurt me.
I think Steve has found a job in the Alice. Last year Marty told me his brother might do the job for him at Bo's, but it didn't work apparently. This time neither. Thanks God ! But it seems as if Steve didn't return to Sydney this time. I don't know what he is doing though.
around that time Marty started to play my requests as soon as he got them dedicating them to a "chérie" or was it Sheryl ? It lasted for a whole week. I was wondering if there could be another girl in the world asking for the same songs at the same momemt. Erica, Marcya and even Pierre, said he was meaning me. Who knows ! Stacy vanished and he has never mentioned this girl since July.
The Rugby World Cup Started with matches played in Montpellier by the Aussies who were accomodated here for the whole length of the tournament. I gave Marty some results. He even tried and reply me speaking of soccer and rugby, but again without calling my name. He played my songs for a French lady listening on th eweb, or by request, or for the French , or almost anything but Mary.
I had a strange feeling one evening watching France vs Italy in soccer.: Marty was by my side.
The following day he said he woke up early to watch that match ! Lol ! I thought I was back into the last World Cup of 2006.
I knew his birthday was coming soon and as he was paying attention to me in his own way, I bought two sweaters for him and sent him two cards, one for him and one for his brother. They were born on the same day. I was still ignoring if he had got his Xmas present. But well, he was looking so nice by the time !!!
Then I decided to phone him to know abot the parcel. I thought his bad mood of Spring was well over and that I could take the chance to chat with him on the phone. He did again as if he was not hearing me and just hung up again. I called Dan who could speak for a while even saying he would make his own enquiry and write me an e-mail. In fact he never did it....
I then phoned Marty anew expecting he would speak this time. He did telling me he was too busy for a cht and was not in the mood of talking about the parcel. He hung up again leaving me hurt and despairing.
I wrote to him I was hurt by his rude behaviour and that I thought better iof him.
I stopped for a while writing to him, but made up my mind on letting him know I was no fool and that I knew of his ignoring me for months. I said I was just pretending all was as before and would stil do it.
So I send his requests with messages as I have been doing for over two years.
Suddenly I noticed he was wearing a black strap on his wrist. I still can figure out what it is. I sent a braclet as a Xmas present: a black rubber one. He had not been wearing anything for all these past months. But after my last call and what I told him he stopeed wearing it. When he knew I would still be sending messages he had again on his wrist. But I am not sure it is my bracelet.
All I know is that he plays my favorite songs and that he is getting nuts when they are French people in the place. He even played a song about flying to a "dirty boulevard" as Bo's was closing. I live on a boulevard. He once said he knew some French words: brunette and boulevard. I am a brunette.
I will still be with him as I have always been. I am not expecting much though. I am sure I am still on his mind. He refuses to acknowledge it may be. He si still scared about the feeling. I am confident in the future.
The only problem is that next year there will be the trip to Canada and the States. It will be hard for me to convince my husband to go back to Australia as we are going to pay for that trip.
Wait and see !