Australian Dream

The End of a Dream.
I said earlier I hated Fridays in your company. There are days when you are busy and didn't have time to pay much attention to me.But today it is worse for I have got the clue to your strange attitude for months.
So you have a new girlfriend ! You've had her for a couple of months then, since the Masters Games and the mail you sent me calling me childish: your last one.
You said to me then you were not allowed to send me mail from your working place. I had doubts and told Dan about them. I think I was right by now. You wanted to put a break to the relationship we had since there was that new girl in your life.
My doubts faded away though when you came back as usual being nice on the mike. But people were right when they told me you could still send emails from home if you wanted to keep in touch as before.
All was so strange all of a sudden. You didn't seem willing to pay attention to me for a fortnight, and then you could even answer my questions on the mike. But no more going nuts about France and French girls as you used to.
I am still wondering why you said nearly a month ago that I didn't have to worry for your hair would be longer when I am back in town. That gave me such hopes about the future and I kept telling Pierre I had to rush back to Australia as soon as possible. The latter didn't agree, of course!
In fact, it is Clare, your new girlfriend who likes you with short hair and clean-shaved. Where is my Scruffy Beard gone?
I still call you this way and won't stop for a while even with tears into my eyes.You will always be my Scruffy Beard in my heart.
I can't wipe out all the wonderful moments we shared together in the funny way we did.
I begged you once not to let me down ever and I still hope you won't.
In fact, I think I had the idea of you having a new girlfriend for quite a while and I wanted to ask you about it. I didn't dare to and I started to ask you on the phone why you said your hair will be longer as I am back in town. You jump on the subject to tell me about your girlfriend's likings.
All is clear by now and it hurts me. I have not recovered from the shock yet.
Pierre said he was happy for me on hearing the news. The latter must be right.
At least I won't ask myself silly questions getting no answers as you don't want to answer them anymore.
He may be right.
I did as usual and send a few requests in vain. I expected you to be nice after all you had told me, but I was wrong again. She must be in town, for you left early and said you won't be back at the console before next year. She lives and works in Tennant Dreek. Oh, yes, I know where it is! I stopped there on my way to Alice Springs.
I have been a fool for so many months, even putting my marriage into danger of splitting. I didn't mind, for you had become everything to me. I felt so much stronger thinking I was loved.
You can't deny it you had something for me. It is all gone by now unfortunately...
As an omen, the roses have faded in the vase and I can't replace them. They have cut the rosebushes short because of winter time. I will have to throw them into the dustbin with my love for you.
I did all the best to keep in touch with Australia. My dream was to be back there not missing you this time. I was a fool to think you would be waiting for me.
I have sent you a mail after my phine call, but I guessed I click on the wrong button. I told you about it and that I sent another one on you home computer. I wanted to look fair-play and to assure you I still love you, you were still my Scruffy Beard.
I am not sure you will read it.
It hurt me previously when you said once you had not read my last e-mails nor watched the pictures I had mailed you on the web. This was the first warning things were not as fine as before. But, then, may be, you don't check into your in-box as often as I do. That's what the fool I am wanted to believe.
What am I to become now?
I still want to go to the Alice and meet you. Things will be made easier in a sense your not being single any longer. I should not forget I am a married woman.
I will keep on connecting myself to Bo's though, but less longer. I won't put meaning into what you say or play. I hope you won't be too nasty ans will take care of me as the regular listener i am in fact.
My friends in the tennis team worry a lot about me. They all feared you may let me down for another girl. Well, it's done and I have not met them yet. I told them I would survive. I hope I will...
I have created an e-mail address in Australia. I didn't know what was awaiting me when I did it.
I joined a chat group and got a few answers still willing to find friends in the world of Down Under. They won't take your place of course, but I felt like talking and talking all over again to vent out the suffering in me.
Friday nights have been nights of indulging in whisky and cigarettes more than once since I met you for the first time...
Pierre said once it was a chess game I was playing with you and that I would be the loser at that game. Well, he was right again.
There's still the possibility that you break up before I come. You're not an easy-going one and it is a good thing that girl doesn't live in the same town, I mean for you. She wants to change your looks. I wish you good luck ! You are not the one willing to change the way you are and won't endure it for long.
Well, this is the end of a dream.
The Kakadu Park on TV. I've got to rush and watch it!