Australia is so far away !!!

I am wondering if I will ever have the opportunity to go back there.
My husband is doing so fine after the operation, which is a very good thing. In some way he has realized he has to be careful in the future, especially with drinking alchohol, which satisfies me. He is less violent and more pleasant to live with. He is not allowed travelling far from home till the next visit to the oncologist's. My daughter would have liked us to spend the week-end of his 70th birthday in Barcelone, but this, too, had to be cancelled. It is of little importance if he is doing well at present. Health prevails !
There have been a few changes at Bo's. Krusty is now working on the radio with Adam, each morning from 6am. He had to give his place to Dan on Wednesdays. Sometimes Amy, also from the radio, has to do the job at Bo's.
Worse, the radio is no longer broadcast after the show is over. I had noticed I could no longer read the file of the radio on my computer after closing time, but didn't really cared for it, as Marty had left and summertime was on. I found it better to stop listening to this radio knowing he was away, and put on the Spirit radio in Geraldton instead. I knew it was not his show and had no chance to hear him, but it made me feel closer to him in some way.
Then again, I thought it was better too taking profit of the hot evenings and not stay stuck at the computer as previous.
In the past, Marty would spend over one hour at his console after closing time, programming night hours of songs for the radio. I stayed watching him and listening to what he was programming and had a few good surprises. Sometimes none, I must confess ...
I had the surprise to hear a few of "our" songs on Spirit even if I had no clue about who was doing the programming. Then it stopped, and I enjoyed the summer days more.
I had the opportunity to have pictures engraved in plastic plates last August, and had a keyholder made this way with the photo of Marty featuring on his radio page.I thought this would be a nice birthday present.
Marty was no longer replying my e-mails and still refused to have me as a friend on his FaceBook. He has added some more friends and has 121 by now, but not me !
Nevermind I couldn't prevent sending him messages.
When it was time to send the parcel to him, I added a bithday card to the keyholder along with a newspaper clip showing the French team, worldchampion in Australian football with seven players from my place. I thought he would cherish getting all this.
I checked out for the address of the radio in Geraldton and found in awe Marty no longer was on it. I checked again on the web for him in no use. Marty has disappeared. When ? I still don't know.
He seemed so happy to have a show of himself on a radio as he didn't manage to go on the radio of Alice Springs. I didn't care much as I had on my mind visiting Western Australia next, the only part of Australia I have never been to. I fancied waiting for him at the end of his show one day. But now ? Where has he gone to ?
He doesn't seem to be on any radio in Australiaz as I checked out into all of them.
He may be back to entertaining people in a club as he did at Bo's.
I can't ask anybody for the answer. Dan seems reluctant to answer any question concerning Marty and never replying to my last e-mail. I don't want to lose that one, so I won't bother him again.
Krussty is my friend now on FaceBook but not to Marty. A girl who used to go to Bo's is my friend now. Her name reminds me of the girl Marty used to dedicate my songs to as he got my requests. He did that a whole evening. I heard to Sherry, or wondered if it was not Chérie: same pronounciation. I thought he was fooling me, but wonder now if it was not a way to dedicate songs to me as he was no longer calling my name out at that time. He used such tricks before.
Anyway, I sent the parcel to the radio address in Geraldton and wrote to them afterwards as if aware of my blunder all of a sudden. I asked them to forward the parcel to Marty if possible, or letting me know to where it should be re-directed. Apparently they are not responding. The thing must have reaches WA by now.
I wrote twice Marty letting him know a parcel was on its way for his birthday. He never replied of course. I hope he has not warned the radio people to send it back to sender as simple as that !
I know I made mistakes sending him things as I did. It scared him for sure.
He used to play that song by James Morrison each time he got a present from me:
"You give me something, it scared me alright"
" You would wait for hours just to spend a few moments with me"
When he realized I had got his personal address using the white pages he drew out from them.
I can no longer find out his new one.
The only link between him and me is that FaceBook. A frail one indeed. He can't have access to my page and watch my photos and I don't have access to his. I just can send him messages I know he can read for part of them appears on Yahoo mail. As he said once he was not writing my e-mails I know he can at least see a few lines, the beginning of the message. I try to let him know the more I can in a few words. Silly !
I am aware now that if I ever go back to OZ one of these days I have little chance meeting him as I have dreamed for so long.
I know now for sure he was in love with me. This love became too strong for him to bear as he was aware he would "never be" with me (James Blunt ). Marty knows he has not the money mu husband has to provide me with the good living I have. I was silly letting him know about Paris and Monte Carlo and my meeting with stars. But I wanted to share all with him !
He called himself a "meer DJ" once. And I must have in mind how he flew away to Sydney as soon as he knew I was arriving in Alice Springs. He never took so long a vacation in three years.
He asked me once what I meant by "impossible love". I guess it was that.
I am so much older and wealthier too. He struggles for a living and I spend my time in my sports clubs, playing tennis and golf and doing fitness.
Anyway, I still love him.
I know I would not be happy living with him. He has a bad temper at times and is so much concern with work anf earning money. A tormented soul too and his Baptist background doesn't help him either.
Yes Australia is far, far away. The web is a good place but it has its limits.
I am at a loss these days. May be I will have to resolve upon turning the page on Marty. I can't still do it ...